I wish I could punch you in the face.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
