I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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