I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
