You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize