yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
