so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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