Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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