she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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