I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
