you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
