Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
