its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
