you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
