can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
