The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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