Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You're like the curious george of whores
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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