He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize