I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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