im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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