got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
