I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
