VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I would fuck him just for his dog
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
