I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
