What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
