well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
