i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
