I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize