I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
