I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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