I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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