I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
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Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
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he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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