Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
