i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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