So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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