You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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