Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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