My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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