What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize