I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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