We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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