So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
