Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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