How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize