Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize