She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There's always time for handjobs
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
