You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
