Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
