Small penises have feelings too.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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