wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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