I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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