the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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