Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
