i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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