Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
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i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
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My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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