happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
