Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
