There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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