He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
